Dear Love, (Love is Always)
Do you feel a deep pain
When you see me cry?
Do you worry about me
When you know I cannot see
Or hear you?
When you watch my journey back to you
Do you feel what I feel when I fall
And fear that I won’t know
It’s you I’m headed towards anymore?
Love,
Are you a nailbiter?
Or do you ease your anxiety
Remembering that all roads lead to you?
Love,
How do you stop yourself from
Calling out my name to remind me
That in just a few more steps I’ll find you?
That
If I just look down at my hands or myself
I’d be reminded that my existence is a constant reminder of you,
That I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.
Love,
How do you keep from repeating to me
That I can trust these legs to carry me to you
As long as I use these arms you gave me to push myself up from off the ground,
To just keep going.
To just keep trying.
Love,
I wonder if you can feel
My struggles,
My tears,
I wonder if you are hoping that I remember you
When I look around
I wonder if you hope that I’ll realize that nothing,
None of this,
Could Be
If not for the love you hold for me
Love,
I look at you,
My guardian
My primary caregiver,
And know you let me have a piece of you
To exist physically apart from you
I imagine that you are so excited that I’m walking,
That I can.
I imagine that you watch me
And hold your breath
Keeping all the words to yourself
Having us both stand in silence
Because I have just a few more steps to feel the warmth of your arms again
Your arms
That are outstretched toward me
Ready to wrap me in them and lift me up
Ready to celebrate me and show me that I could do it
That I did it
That you knew I would.
To show me
That you believed I could
Even when I wasn’t sure
To show me that you knew I could
Because I’m yours.
Because I am Love
Just like you.
And You
Never left.
By Shanai Williams
Hailing from the Bronx, NYC, Shanai Williams is a deeply spiritual and fiercely free creative. With one hand in the ether and the other grounded in community, she is committed to cultivating spaces where Black artists of all ages can connect, showcase their work, and be valued beyond a dollar sign.
Shanai finds art in everything and thrives when blending multiple mediums to create something new. She practiced this interdisciplinary approach by designing her own major—Creative Storytelling—at Wheaton College (MA). Since graduating, she has remained dedicated to producing work that is honest, reflective, and rooted in her connection to the world and those around her.
When not creating, Shanai is in community—often in deep conversation with strangers, exchanging passions and envisioning new possibilities for the world.