By Samantha Arriozola
By Samantha Arriozola
You can often catch Mikey Murry (she/they) on Instagram hyping up an artist friend or two, or posting a new eyeliner design. But on Friday the 16th, just two days after Valentine’s, you could find Mikey waiting for her interviewer to let them into the Zoom call.
Author of Black Girls, Silence, and Other Things Made of Gold (2017) and the forthcoming Opposite of a Suicide Note (March 2024), Mikey, better known by their artist name, “Mikey Cody Apollo,” is a storyteller and self-proclaimed “bi-con” hailing from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (“Born and raised…414 over everything.”) With roots in spoken word poetry, Mikey has written about queerness, mental health, the joy and experience of Blackness, and, of course, love.
“I write for women, I write for Queer folk, I write for POC.”
As a writer who grew up in the church, Mikey often explores stories within the Christian faith to unpack the complex nature of emotions and relationships. “We were the family that wore jeans to church. My mom believed in science. My mom was very quick to put me on birth control when I expressed an interest in having sex. So we held all these things simultaneously.”
“In my last book, I had a lot of pieces that would allude to different Bible stories, because in my head that was the foundation of a lot of my understanding.” Mikey highlights the poem entitled “I Can Slay a Lion with My Bare Hands” through its allusion to the story of Samson and Delilah. Within this poem, Mikey connects to both romantic and self-love, while also unpacking power dynamics in past relationships where men have instilled harm. “I wanted to look through the lens of men who have hurt me and tried to take my strength away.”
When asked who Mikey believes her audience is, Mikey cites Audrey Lorde in inspiring her own views on writing. “All you really need is yourself and whoever the receiver is…if I’m writing a part of it is also for me.” However, Mikey continues, some artistic creations can be exclusive ways to bring visibility and relevant content to those who have been systemically marginalized in the U.S. and beyond. “Not everything needs to be for everybody. It’s okay if it’s not for you,” Mikey emphasizes. The author includes that there is a need to continue supporting Black art, “Whether it’s on a page on the stage or on a screen there’s a human to human connection that quite frankly white supremacy will try to stomp out.”
“Not everything needs to be for everybody. It’s okay if it’s not for you.”
Opposite of a Suicide Note focuses on the inherent love found in platonic connections, a love that can meet and exceed the expectations of romantic love. When it comes to love, Mikey, who emphasizes her Venus placement in Pisces, loves out loud. “I once posted a controversial Facebook status that said, ‘Can you be platonically in love with your friends?’” Mikey has been vocal about the importance of centering love in all its forms. They went on to explain that after the end of her past long-term relationship, Mikey reflected on how sex oftentimes takes over the conversation of what love is. “Love is often reduced to candy hearts, and sex, and romance. Why wouldn’t you want to rizz up your homies? Build them up and make them feel special, especially because they make you feel special.”
While talking about this idea of love in friendships, Mikey emphasized that they couldn’t be a good partner if they weren’t a good friend, as well. Mikey explains that there is a level of reciprocity that can be found in these connections that uplifts the two parties providing a safe and healthy space to be vulnerable. “If you can hold me in all my multitudes, why wouldn’t I do the same for you?” Mikey says. They continued by highlighting the importance of their friendships within their life, a focus they hope will be shared with others. “Particularly when I’m doing presentations or conferences, I introduce myself as a daughter, a sister, a homie, and a partner because those are the most important identities that I hold.”
Mikey adds that there are particular poems that they are excited to share: dedications to her friends. “When I think of love, I don’t just think of my partner. I think of Olivia, and Genesis, and Yessica, and all these other people that I would go to the end of the world for.” Mikey credits her best friend, Genesis Renji, for inspiring the title of this collection. “As soon as I came up with it, he said ‘No that’s it! You can use the other ideas for the titles of poems, but that’s your title,’” she recalls. Mikey includes the quote from Genesis from this conversation in the upcoming book: “What is the opposite of a suicide note? An affirmation?”
Mikey first met Genesis Renji, her “soul-mate,” when he was a sacrificial poet for a slam she was competing in. “We must have done life together before…I see you, you get me,” Mikey shares with a smile. She has honored this connection with the Maryland-born, Wisconsin-raised rapper through a love poem. Mikey shared that this poem was borne of another conversation she had after her suicide attempt, an experience that they shared with Serial Lover Conversations in order to continue reducing the stigma of mental health struggles faced by all communities. Days after this experience, Mikey shares that Genesis affirmed her healing by saying, “There is nothing that we can’t go up against, even if it’s God.”
When this collection was being developed, Mikey was leaning into communal and family love, as well as a love of women, sisters, and Queer folk. “I really want to celebrate the things that come outside of being suicidal, and for me, that was this idea of love. Not so much romantic love, it can be a part of it, but love in general.” In the poem dedicated to Genesis Renji, her “church-kid” nature presented itself in the addition of the Bible quote, Ruth 1:16: “Do not ask me to leave you or turn away from you. I will go where you go. Your land will be my land, your people will be my people, your God will be my God.” There was no doubt in Mikey’s mind regarding the comfort and safety that could be found in her friendship with Genesis. “Wherever he goes, I go. His land, my land. His God, my God,” a viewpoint heavily supported by her partner in recognizing the importance of connections with community.
“If I’m writing, it’s also for me.”
Mikey’s openness on her experience with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a condition that is often categorized as having the hallmarks of premenstrual symptom (PMS), but also causes severe mood changes, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation. After her own PMDD diagnosis, Mikey’s reframing of mental health led to documentation of their daily medication and skincare routine. “I knew that if I wasn’t drinking water or taking my meds I knew that at some point I would open Instagram.” Mikey’s personal accountability developed into a sort of modern, public journal on social media. Through posts counting days and reminders to her followers, Mikey’s posts became a respite for those learning to include prescription medication into their own lives without judgment. Despite moments of self-doubt in sharing this process, Mikey’s following celebrated the tangible tracking and journey of diagnosis, sharing that this openness inspired some to begin their own first steps toward healing and diagnosis.
Mikey hopes that with this collection, her audience wants to give back to themselves as much as they are supporting and being present for other people. “Now that I’m on this side of the attempt, it’s very interesting…This idea of ‘No this is something that I’m consciously choosing and deciding every day.’ But while, yes, that is true, I hope that others are interrogating their own version of love and affirmation and what that looks like in their life.”
If you find yourself in the Milwaukee area on March 16th, 2024, make sure to catch the Opposite of a Suicide Note Release Party at Dream Lab (738 S 3rd St, Milwaukee, WI 53204) and celebrate the affirmation Mikey Cody Apollo has created for us all.
You can follow Mikey on Instagram @mikeycodyapollo, and she promises to have her website up soon.
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© Samantha Arriozola 2024. All Rights Reserved.